My girlfriend is a beautiful, funny, and intelligent young woman and I’m very lucky to have her in my life. We met in college, we know each other’s families, and are each other’s best friends. I’ve been with her for almost two years and I would like to start a life with her. There’s only one issue—as a Muslim, I feel my future wife has to believe in God. I’m not the strictest of Muslims, I occasionally drink and don’t follow everything written in the Quran, but my girlfriend is an atheist. She says she’s open to believing, but that is a requirement in order for our marriage to be valid within Islam and so that we can marry in a mosque. I want that not only for religious reasons but because it’s a cultural and familial tradition. We’ve talked about her converting but it’s usually ended up with us brushing it aside or with her being hurt because she says I can’t love her for who she is. Of course I love her and want to be with her but I also want my future marriage to be validated by my religion and accepted by God. But I don’t want to pressure her into converting, either. What do I do?
Hang on, Prudie, I got this one.
Dear Feeling Lost,
I thought I might take this opportunity to explain the 1996 bombing in Atlanta to younger readers who may not be familiar. The story goes like this: Richard Jewell was a police officer, but on this day he was working for a private security firm. He discovered the bomb. He alerted the police. He personally escorted people to safety. There’s no telling how many lives he saved. Two were killed. When the police were investigating, they naturally had to consider him a suspect like they would consider anyone in his position a a suspect. However, it somehow leaked that the FBI were investigating him. It was routine, but that wasn’t noted in the media reports, which indicted this guy immediately although no official charges were brought. His name remains synonymous with the incident to this day.
MEANWHILE, the actual bomber, Eric Rudolph, a right-wing white-nationalist, Christian fundamentalist who ranted about hating abortion and homosexuals and socialism and even John Lennon, would go on to murder many more, bombing two abortion clinics and a lesbian bar. He’s been lauded as a hero in the Christian terror/anti-abortion movement. He’s serving 4 consecutive life sentences.
Richard Jewell was honored by the city of Atlanta in 2006, a year after Rudolph plead guilty. Jewell died the next year of heart disease at age 44.
Please tell every Bible literalist who thinks the discovery of locations or characters from the Bible prove it true, that this discovery obviously then must prove every Greek myth true.
I hate how much I struggle with Chastity. I hate how I struggle to keep it. I wish I had more LDS friends irl to talk too. I’m feeling pretty guilty and unworthy. And I feel like I shouldn’t, idk.
“I’m feeling pretty guilty and unworthy.” This is how religion intends to make everyone feel by associating normal human responses to shame and guilt. The church, especially the Mormon church, chooses natural, healthy stimulants like sex and tries to distance you from then to make you reliant on the church to achieve any degree of happiness or satisfaction. However, sexual feelings are not something you can really control. You can suppress, but you can’t change the fact that you want to have sex. For the church,this creates a system perpetual dependence. You need the church to satisfy you and to keep you from doing something the church has told you is bad and you need the church as a place of contrition once you inevitably fail to meet their demands. It’s a perfect scam. You’re being used! You shouldn’t let this institution make you feel anyway at all. Whether they’re making you feel guilty or like you have some great purpose or whatever they’re just manipulating you.
Yesterday I visited my grandma in the hospital and a friend of hers from church showed up, a guy named Sam.
My veganism came up and my grandma explained it to him well “She doesn’t eat anything that comes from anything that had a brain.” He said “Why not?
I said “Ethics.” With a smile to try and be like ‘Thats all, okay?’
He said “Elaborate.” In this really condescending way.
So I just said “I don’t think its right to eat something that can feel pain, or creatures that love their children.”
He said “The Bible says animals are fine to eat though.”
I said “Well, I think that is wrong.”
It was like I spit on his mother or something.
He asked where I went to church, I said nowhere, he asked when I wanted to start again. I stuttered for a second, I was thrown off, but said I don’t plan on attending again. Ever. He then went on to tell me that they’ll pray for me at church and if I find a way into college again then its because of them and I’ll have to come back. I said “No, thank you, I’ll work and get into college through my own means.”
This time I think I shot his mother.
This is why I left the church and soon after left religion.
Emotional blackmail and poor justifications for calling me out on my lifestyle?
I’m sure that’s just what Jesus would do
In this example of the harm of religious belief, a flabbergasted, myopic old man talks down to a bright young woman. Religion teaches people to behave this way. It’s like a method of soft bullying. The presumption that she couldn’t get into college without some magical rain dance is absurd and offensive.