How do I tell my mom I don’t believe in god? What’s worse is that I’m having a quinceñera… Basically the main point of a quinceñera is to get a “blessing” from the church and you have to go to CCD (church school basically) to do that. Then you have a big party, and it’s kinda costly. A lot of things are already paid for, and I can’t disappoint my whole family… I just, I don’t know what to do.
1) If you fear any kind of serious disruption of your life, such as being thrown out of your house or disowned or abused in anyway by anyone in your household, I suggest you just avoid the topic for the next three or four years until you’re out of the house and can support yourself. It totally sucks to have to lie for the sake of the older generations ridiculous traditions, but better that than put yourself in harm’s way.
2) If you really think this is a conversation you have to have with your mother and you don’t think you’ll face any kind of serious consequence remember this: Part of religion’s con is to convince people that the religion is part of their personality. It’s who they are. Religious institutions and a complicit society has conflated a person’s religion with their race and national heritage. It’s not that, but just about every Catholic, Jew, Muslim, Mormon and even Scientologist believe that it is. So, it’s likely your mother will take your rejection of the religious mythology as a rejection of her and your pronouncement of faithlessness as a denouncement of her as a mother and as a person. You would do well to address this concern before she has the chance to suspect it. Reassure her that she is, in fact, just as important to you as she ever was and that this decision isn’t about her. Tell her at your age you’re hoping you’ve earned the respect to make up your own mind about these issues and not do what, perhaps, her parents did to her, by pressuring her into something she doesn’t want to be a part of. Remind her why your relationship with her is special and how this decision won’t affect that.
3) Be open about your reasoning. If you can explain to her why you don’t believe in any gods, you can at least demonstrate that you’re thinking. She’ll likely try to change your mind and if you’re both up for keeping the discussion reasonable and civil, remember that the burden of proof is always on the person making the positive claim, that is, that something is true, and never on the person simply denying the claim. You don’t need to prove to her there’s no god, you just need to tell her you need it proved to you that there is.
4) Assure her that, if there is a god, it will know exactly how to convince you and will do it in its own time in its own way, but until then, you’re not buying in so easily.
Good luck, remember you have internet friends.