“People who like Mitt Romney like him for the same reason other people like rappers who endlessly rub it in that their life is so much better than ours. They’re in the hot tub at the after party with the bling and the bitches. And yet no matter how clear Jay-Z makes it that the hot tub is only for the coolest and most beautiful people, somehow when the song ends we think, ‘That is us,’ the coolest and most beautiful people.”

— Bill Maher, too awesome for words.